Musical Monday

Happy Musical Monday, everyone. This week I figured I'd cave in and give you some Lady Gaga. Please enjoy "Poker Face"

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Eye Candy

...will make its triumphant return next weekend. I've got too much to do before tomorrow morning. Hopefully, though, it'll be worth the wit.

Quote of the week

Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It's a shark riding on an elephant's back, just trampling and eating everything they see. - Jack Handey

Growing Up Without a Cell Phone

This was sent to me yesterday, and I figured I'd share the hilarity...

If you are 50, or older, you might think this is hilarious!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill...Barefoot... BOTH ways... yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter – with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!

Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes ! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!

Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car... We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Dig? We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting ! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it! There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends". OH MY GOD !!! Think of the horror... not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there's TEXTING.

Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are. And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent... you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister! We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600 ! With games like, “Space Invaders” and “Asteroids”. Your screen guy was a little square!

You actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen... Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on!

You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what's the world coming to?!?! There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-finks! And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that! We actually had to plan cooking a baked potato for an hour~

And our parents told us to stay outside and play... all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside... you were doing chores! And car seats - oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were lucky, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place! See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1960 or any time before!

Regards,
The Over 50 Crowd

Cheesecake

After listenong to this, I'm craving cheesecake.

Retro Commercial Friday

Lack of performance

For any of you that ever been in or involved with anything that requires practicing and dress rehearsals, then you know that the last minute preparations and chance to show what you can do is crucial.

Well, my band kids have 3 contests in the next 5 weeks. In the span of that time, they will get to perform a total of 4 times (the contests and 1 home game). The reason for this is that first of all or football team has 3 home games all season. The first one was the season opener, the second is next week which is our homecoming, and the third is the last game of the season, which will be senior day.

We won't get to perform at either of our remaining home games (unless bossman decides to do a postgame). Like I said, next week is homecoming, and that is nothing more than standing still playing the same song (Stevie Wonder's "Isn't She Lovely...if I ever finish it...lol) over...and over...and over...and over...and over again, while the court walks through as slow as they possibly can.

The last home game is senior day. Tradition dictates we do a special show for the seniors, so that throws out that one.

As for the away games, apparently, it is the popular thing to play us for homecoming because every team we play, and I do mean EVERY team, is playing s for homecoming. No wonder we have all these away games!

So, where is the 4th performance? Well, in an effort to at least get 1 show in before contest, we're going to perform at a JV football game. There are two reasons for this. First, the star trombone player (who also plays football) will be playing, but, as he does on Friday nights, he'll run over at halftime, then run back. It's a chance to pay back the coach for not making him choose between the two, because we all know some coaches would have done just that. The second reason is that is shows good school spirit and its a performance...one that will be desperately needed.

As you can see, I'm none to thrilled with that way the football schedule has played out. I kind of had a notion it wold end up this way when it was released, but I was just joking around. Little did I know that I'd be right.

I'm sure the kids'll be fine. It just sucks that things have ended up having to play out this way.

Don't get me started on how many parents bitched and moaned about tonight's game, which was originally scheduled for last night...up until Monday. As if we have any control over the TV station deciding to go with another game to show!