The Hateful Eight
1 day ago
"It's not enough that Marvel attacks conservatives values, now mythological Gods must be re-invented with black skin. ... It seems that Marvel Studios believes that white people should have nothing that is unique to themselves."
"Thor's mythical, right? Thor has a hammer that flies to him when he clicks his fingers. That's OK, but the color of my skin is wrong? I was cast in Thor and I'm cast as a Nordic god. If you know anything about the Nords, they don't look like me but there you go. I think that's a sign of the times for the future."
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido : All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
And the winners are:
1. Coffee, n.. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3.. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4 esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6.. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v.. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men
To avoid it...
Make sure you get your daily dose of fruit and veggies.
Take your vitamins and bump up your vitamin C.
Get plenty of exercise because it builds your immune system.
Walk for at least an hour a day, go for a swim,
take the stairs instead of the lift, etc.
Wash your hands often. If you can't, keep a bottle of antibacterial stuff around.
Get lots of fresh air. Open doors & windows whenever possible.
Try to eliminate as much stress from your life as you can.
Get plenty of rest.
Take the doctor's approach.
Think about it...
When you go for a flu jab, what do they do first?
They clean your arm with alcohol...
Because Alcohol KILLS GERMS.
I walk to the pub. (exercise)
I put lime in my vodka...(fruit)
Celery in my Bloody Mary (veggies)
Drink outdoors on the patio..(fresh air)
Tell rude jokes and laugh....(eliminate stress)
Then I pass out. (rest)
The way I see it...
If you keep your alcohol levels up, flu germs can't get you!
As my grandmother always said, 'A shot in the glass is better than one in the ass!'
Ever since the first "X-Men" in 2000, the trend in comic book movie adaptations has been to try to give a sense of realism to costumed superheroes. "Spider-Man," "Iron Man" and especially Christopher Nolan's two "Batman" movies have all tried to tone down the fantastical elements from the source material and bring the characters down to Earth.
It looks like that trend may end next summer with the release of "Green Lantern." Based on the much-loved DC Comics series, this latest superhero movie has aliens, spaceships, and a ring that creates objects out of light. But unlike some more terrestrial heroes, the cosmic explorations of the Green Lantern have always been a major part of the character's appeal.
Take a look at the first trailer for "Green Lantern" starring the newly crowned "Sexiest Man Alive," Ryan Reynolds.
Reynolds plays Hal Jordan, who was actually the second Green Lantern in the comic books starting in 1959. He is a test pilot at Ferris Aircraft alongside Carol Ferris (played by Blake Lively). Jordan discovers where a spacecraft crashes on Earth, and its alien passenger, Abin Sur (Temuera Morrison), passes on his power ring to Jordan before he dies. So Jordan is inducted into the Green Lantern Corps, sort of an interplanetary police force whose rings have the power to create anything they can imagine.
It's still an early trailer, so we only get a few glimpses of the Green Lantern's power, specifically one shot where he punches out three guys with one giant glowing fist. You see the villain Hector Hammond (Peter Sarsgaard) both before and after his head mutates to an enormous size. There is also a brief look at Sinestro (Mark Strong), the purple-skinned Lantern Corps member who starts off as Jordan's ally (but, as comic book readers know, doesn't stay that way).
It's a far cry from the gritty realism of a movie like "The Dark Knight," but that's by design. It also has a lighter tone that gives Reynolds the chance to show off his trademark charm, putting his romantic comedy experience to use in his bantering with Lively. And unlike the brooding, tortured heroes like Christian Bale's Batman or Hugh Jackman's Wolverine, Reynolds seems to be having fun with his superpowers.
Another difference is Green Lantern's costume. Rather than the spandex bodysuits or leathery armor of most movie superheroes, Reynolds was filmed wearing a motion capture suit (much like the actors in "Avatar"), and his costume is entirely created with digital effects. It gives him a sleek, glowing look that could not be acheived by traditional means.
"Green Lantern" arrives in theaters on June 17, 2011