Guardians of the Galaxy, vol. 2
3 days ago
The Chicago Tribune reported Monday that the principal of Little Village Academy decided to ban home-packed lunches at the West Side school after watching students bring lunches consisting of "bottles of soda and flaming hot chips" on field trips.
From the Tribune:
Principal Elsa Carmona said her intention is to protect students from their own unhealthful food choices.
"Nutrition wise, it is better for the children to eat at the school," Carmona said. "It's about the nutrition and the excellent quality food that they are able to serve (in the lunchroom). It's milk versus a Coke. But with allergies and any medical issue, of course, we would make an exception."
The Tribune spoke to several students and parents who opposed the policy, saying children don't like the cafeteria food, and that much of it gets thrown away. Other parents said the cafeteria food, supplied by caterer Chartwells-Thompson, is a healthy option and they are happy to have it available.
Though Carmona says the Chartwells-Thompson options are healthy, others disagree.
"It's rare that I see a school, especially a public school, that actually serves food that's good," Susan Rubin, a nutritionist and founder of the Better School Food program, told AOL News. "I get physically sick just looking at it, because it makes me sick that kids are eating this processed crap."
The home-packed lunch ban was put in place six years ago, but the Tribune's Monday story sparked outrage among some conservatives.
"This is problematic for a number of reasons, least of which is probably that a one-size-fits all government brainchild is destined to fail at solving a complicated problem," ChicagoNow blogger Emily Zanotti wrote Monday. " Anyone who's ever met a kid knows that kids are weird. It's a full time job, sometimes, for parents, to figure out how to ensure a child gets necessary nutrition while skirting a number of irrational food phobias. ... A public school, with hundreds of children, could never adequately address the needs of it's bizarre little population of dietary exceptions (not to mention, she clearly foils parents who would send their children to school with certifiably organic or home-cooked lunches)."
While an outright ban may be unpopular with students at Little Village, some Chicago Public School students do want more options when it comes to cafeteria food. Last year, a group of CPS high schoolers addressed the Chicago Board of Education after realizing that a typical lunch in a CPS cafeteria clocked in at 800 calories.
"Parents rely on schools to give their children nutritious meals, not tan-colored slop," one student told the Board.
The Chicago Public School system as a whole does not ban home-packed lunches, but does allow its principals to make such decisions.
"While there is no formal policy, principals use common sense judgment based on their individual school environments," CPS spokeswoman Monique Bond told the Tribune. "In this case, this principal is encouraging the healthier choices and attempting to make an impact that extends beyond the classroom."
Some Little Village students said they would make healthy choices if given the chance.
"They're afraid that we'll all bring in greasy food instead of healthy food and it won't be as good as what they give us at school," student Yesenia Gutierrez told the paper. "It's really lame. If we could bring in our own lunches, everyone knows what they'd bring. For example, the vegetarians could bring in their own veggie food."
Two blondes were going to Disneyland . They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT.. They started crying and turned around and went home.
FLORIDA OR MOON
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?'
The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????'
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, 'What's the story?'
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
'Impossible!' says the doctor.. 'Show me.'
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?
'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'
'I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'
'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'
The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'
The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!' The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!'
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night...
It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.
Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?'
She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'
THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs,
and asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'
'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch dogs'!
Life is good when you're the Princess of Poughkeepsie.
Snooki was paid $32,000 by Rutgers University's programming association to dish on her fist-pumping, pouf-wearing, hard-partying lifestyle on the "Jersey Shore" Thursday night.
That's $2,000 more than the school is paying Nobel-winning novelist Toni Morrison to deliver Rutgers' commencement address in May.
The pint-sized reality star, whose real name is Nicole Polizzi, appeared at two sold out Q&A sessions, donning a gold-headband, leopard-print gloves and a signature low-cut dress
According to Rutgers' Daily Targum, she chatted about a variety of subjects, including her trademark hair ("The pouf is its own living form"), if the drama on the show was real ("You can't make this sh-- up") and her biggest inspiration ("being tan").
No state funds or tuition money was used for the event, said university spokesman E. J. Miranda. He said the students use funds designated for student programming.
More than 2,000 students expressed their wish to attend the event, so a second show was added.
"The university does not censor the speakers students choose to invite on campus," Miranda told the Daily News in a statement, adding the show was promoted as a comedy act and not an academic program.
"As with any comedy show, the value of the content is subjective and students choose to attend based on their interests."
Snooki's speaking fee at Rutgers was approximately on par with what she makes per episode — reportedly $30,000 — on "Jersey Shore."
Some students waited hours to get a good seat, according to the Star-Ledger. Other students weren't quite as enthused.
"Such a waste of my money," freshman Dan Oliveto griped to the newspaper. "If I want to listen to someone talk, they should have something intelligent to say."
And what was Snooki's parting message? "Study hard, but party harder," she told the crowd.
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied.
'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply
'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
(Unbelievable but sadly true...)
I was checking out at the local Walmart with just a few items and the lady behind meput her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'
I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'
She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and
pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I asked.
She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'
'Hmmm, I don't know.
Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me.
As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'
(PLEASE just lie down before you hurt yourself !!!)
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing
and turned to a secretary and said,'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I
do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it
on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.
(Brunette, by the way!! )
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid
to the emergency room,the kid had eaten ants.
The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the
mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'
Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'
Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid!!!!
Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you too. Don't
laugh....it is all true...
Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!
01.Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
02.. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
03.No one expects you to run--anywhere.
04. People call at 9 PM and ask,"did I wake you?"
05.People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
07.Things you buy now won't wear out.
08. You can eat supper at 4 PM.
09.You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10.You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11.You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13.You sing along with elevator music.
14.Your eyes won't get much worse.
15.Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17.Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
19.You can't remember who sent you this list.
20.And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.